And the best of your days will on vanish into haze when you're on drugs

I haven't blogged in ages and i apologise for it now.
I think this blog is aptly titled as I can still smell weed on my fingers from last night even though i specifically used a bunch of soap to wash my hands this morning. This is the first time I've blogged all holidays and quite alot has happened including no revising at all, not even picking up a book. A bunch of stuff was/kinda still is messed up but it has decreased a bit, i think.
Basically all I've done these holidays has revolved around smoking weed, which is pretty good. On Monday Sam, Michael and Holly came to my house while my parents were at work. We got high alot and me and holly got quite drunk on Gin and red shloer. Once drunk i proceeded to drag Sam upstairs. At this point Holly and Michael were still downstairs with loud music on. The left promptly when my mum came home to find people in her house and me and sam upstairs on my bed half naked. It was probably the worst moment of my life so far. Then everyone bailed and i had to conceal my drunkenness while having a horribly awkward and embarrassing conversation with my mother in which she thought i regularly took random boys home and would've fucked Sam if she hadn't come home. Neither of these were true, i also lied and said Sam was my boyfriend, but now he is so it's fine, just it's going to be horrible when Sam and my mum actually have to see each other again. Thankfully my dad doesn't know, or I'd be dead or have a chastity belt.
Other things I've done these holidays include being surrounded by geekiness a huge amount, it's not fun. For Robbie's birthday we watched geeky films at is, i didn't understand the films but it was good cause i got to fall asleep on Sam and get given free Doritos. And that night Sam asked me out only to later realise that it was his parents anniversary which makes it a little creepy.
The other half of me Holly (or hetero life partner) also has a boyfriend now. His name is Michael and he IS Italian whether he admits it or not. He has curly curly hair and is implausibly cute. Holly hates when we do couply things.
I'm struggling to think of other stuff i did these holidays. On Saturday some boy had a party i wasn't invited to cause he hates me for no reason and likes to be really mean to me alot. Alot of my friends went though, so instead afew of us got wasted at nuala's. I didn't have any alcohol of my own so thanks be to Erin for sharing her Vodka. That night we all got too drunk and argued. I argued with Sam in the middle of the street, turns out people we knew saw us. Then Nuala, Erin and Chloe all got upset after arguing. However fun points of the night include me and Erin going mental with Nuala's food and drunken dancing. I ate alot of the jam (with my fingers) because at the time i thought it was fucking amazing. Me and Erin also finished a whole pack of biscuits which were absolutely delicious, but Nuala was a goose and didn't want any. We then begged Nuala to make Sweet microwave popcorn which she finally allowed but it was too hot in the bag so me and Erin poured it all over the counter? It seemed logical at the time anyway. I didn't get home til 2 as i was trying to console people who were drunkenly crying and had to walk Sam home cause he's a baby.
Oh and on Sunday us 4 (Holly, Michael, Sam and me) went to Urban Chillax cause Holly was working there selling t-shirts. She was amusing, there was some amazing dancers and alot of really obscene dance groups. It was boring lots of the time but pretty good. That night i went to Chloe's and acted like a tool. I had found out something i didn't like just before so thought I'll get wasted to solve it(which i still maintain is a good motto). I spent a ton of the night crying and told people a bunch of stuff i really shouldn't of but did cause i was drunk. I drunkenly danced too and pulled someone which wasn't Sam which was stupid, and it was gross. Also screaming the words to Taking Back Sunday and jumping with Tomas was fun, we also bitched about people. Then for some reason me, Nuala, Trav and Tomas thought it'd be a good idea to walk home instead of getting a taxi. Chloe lives in Monifieth. It took ages and we all got annoyed at Trav cause he kept having a go at people's relationship status.
Also some gay 3rd years were shouting at our group in the ferry, naturally we all shouted at them to fuck off and stuff. Then one of the started fighting Michael. He punched Michael, Michale then punched him twice and he landed on the floor. The shit got kicked out of him, it was a win except now we have to be careful whenever Michael's in the Ferry, which is shit.
I'm gonna explain Sam more so he doesn't moan at me cause i talked of Micael lot ( I adore Michael). He works at a vet, and has a paper round so is always sleep deprived. He is a complete stoner and acts like a complete fag aroung animals- like a middle-aged women with newborn babies. He is in a funny Band with Michael and other people we're friends with and uses music lingo i don't understand and is quite snobby about music. He says cute stuff and likes to wind me up and eat cheese at breakfast. <3

I want your horror, I want your design, 'Cause you're a criminal, As long as your mine, I want your love

It appears I'm really into crazy mood swings at the moment, and not cause I'm hormonal. My blog yesterday show how upset i was and today i burst into tears twice at school yet now i feel fine? I'm crazy. But i still agree with my statement of I'm unsure of everything ever atm, but I'm still eating my own weight in chocolate and noisily being upset too often. Also i have finally turned my phone on after it being off since Saturday night, i had over a hundred messages ): And it hadn't received others i knew i had been sent. I also realised i know way too much about Hello Kitty but yet i still research it constantly? Whatever boys get to play COD and do geeky stuff so i get to have this. I found out there a Hello Kitty Theme park in Japan which I'm migrating to and an official Hello Kitty wine, sadly they do not give licence to any other stronger alcohol in case it's like a bad impression or such. But yeah i know like all her friends and their life stories, it's creepy. However i would strongly recommend looking up her Sanrio pal Landry, he's awesome and he's a fucking raccoon, could it be more win? I don't think so.

i'm finished making sense, done pleading ignorance, that whole defense

So yeah looks like i'm not feeling as better as i thought. I can remotely talk about stuff now though so i guess it's kind of better in that sense?
Although i honestly don't know like anything anymore, this past week/weekend has made me doubt actually everyting about myself ever and i am struggling to care about more than very few things at the moment. I just have no idea what's happening with anything tbh. Apart from i know that right now comfort eating, wrecking my liver and foo fighters are definitely the way to go.

The page is out of print, we are not permanent, we're temporary, temporary Same old story

I really like Foo Fighters at the moment, they're so angry and such.
Also i have stopped being all emo about my life for the most part so its all good.
This weekend has been crazy, it was going swimmingly well until Saturday night.
Friday was amazing. We went to Costa's to see Kts band, Seams, they were really good. My personal favourites were the covers of 'I love you baby' and 'a decade under the influence-taking back Sunday', as well as 'Foster starts fire'. They were amazing and had a very good crowd. After we got chips and cheese and they were so good that they prove there definitely is a god. Holly was super excited to see Grant and walked to the bus stop with him and in return received many a pan iced call from me cause Sam and stuff were dying to get to castle green to smoke weed. We proceeded to smoke alot when we arrived there, and it was pretty awesome. Then me Darren and Jamie T. walked along to Lewis' and met all the rest of those guys in there. Once there i realised there was about 5 times as many people there as i expected and that it was an actual Brodieparty. I of course proceeded to get very drunk and smoke a bit more, the whole place was smokey, it was kinda funny. So i got really drunk and wasn't doing a god job of standing up right, i also told everyone individually that i loved them. I also literally said to Lewis 'Thank you for having me' 93128478633 times. I really don't remember much else apart from when we arrived at Archie's and we were talking to his mum and some other women and i was trying really much to act normal, apparently i did a pretty damn good job. Then i KO'd on Archie's bed cause I'm greedy. The next day i felt like utter shit and had partially lost my voice. I also had no idea where the house i was in was located so picked a random direction and hoped i was going the right way, which i was, win. Yeah so i had to get the bus home looking like shit with last nights clothes and make-up on and then it was promptly to tesco's to get me some aspirin and various sugar-filled drinks. I felt like shit, later me and Holly went into town and got me a playsuit and baked potato before rushing home to grab my stuff and bail to Holly's to get ready for Shaun's House Party. I was in a shit mood cause my heels wouldn't stay on my feet and i had been informed that certain people who i find it difficult to be around would be at the party. So it took us ages to get to Shaun's, then i again proceeded to get very drunk, like so much it was the drunkest I've ever been very very bad decision, but it was accidental. Holly also went way too far, we suck. I felt awful this morning and have no idea whatsoever what happened but so far I've been told that i pulled Holly without prompting, didn't stand up much and spent 99% of the time crying, so total fail. Today i have never felt worse, i have no idea what i actually did last night so its horrible and I'm really paranoid. Also i feel sick, like i threw up alot, got sick in my hair. Also my thigh and arm are actually ripped to pieces for some reason. My left arm is literally purple and my right has a bruise the size of a golf ball on it. Needless to say my mum thinks I'm a creep. I have no idea how i got injured so i had to fabricate a story about falling in my heels to shut my parents up. Now my mum is being really moany about the laptop.

well if it hurts this much then it must be love

i said i wouldnt blog in a while. i lied. apparently thats socially acceptable now even when it destroys people. i'm just gonna use this blog to publish my emo emotions for just now until im better.
i wish i had a finite amount of the emotion sad so it would run out already and i wish that i wouldn't have to answer questions or acknowledge people in anyway so stay in my own bubble. Everything anyone says just makes it worse.

finest

i don't think i'll be blogging for a while as everything is ruined

'Hey' is for horses you douchebag, and it's a stupid greeting anyway

Today i was forced to spend the entire day tidying my room, of course i spent it instead on MLIA, FML, IMMD and facebook and pretended to tidy whenever my mum came through, she soon caught on to this. What she did not catch on to was the fact that instead of tidying the mess i put most of my stuff under my bed and in drawers, i think i win. She then tried to tell me that it would be so nice if my room was like this all the time. I said it was a ridiculous statement as lots of things 'would' be nice such as having a slide instead of stairs. My mum ignored me and continued her rant, my reply after 5 minutes of her talking at me was maybe i would keep my room tidy if i had a slide for stairs.
Looking at what I've written it appears IMMD and MLIA have drastically rubbed off on me today.
In case you couldn't tell from this blog title and content I'm in a shit mood. My weekend wasn't very good at all, i did however complete another first i can add to the list. Buying weed myself. Usually i just have other peoples, probably cause I'm a selfish bitch.
Friday was spent with Holly mildly drunk, i wasn't (shock horror). However i didn't mind because i had chips and cheese. This is my new favourite thing, i love it more than almost everything atm. So anyway we spent the majority of the night in the net of the rope climbing frame at Castle Green. It was freezing so i was basically on top of Holly for warmth and i got mildly bored so resorted to having one of Holly's headphone while we both sang wildly out of tune funny songs. T'was good.
On Saturday i bought Iona's birthday present and myself some new shoes seeing as i had literally had like one pair that broke my feet when i wore them. I still have to order new clothes and shoes off the Internet too. (x Saturday night just went in the ferry again. Michael found cigarettes on the ground which we then smoked this then led us to the argument of whether it was scummy or not. I argued it wasn't as they were in a packet, it would have been a waste if we hadn't and because the packet had cigarettes in it it wasn't scummy but logical of course. In my head i still know it's scummy, but as i am with most things I'm past caring.
Also i finally got around to watching Lady Gaga's new Telephone video and although it apparently cost like £1million to make i still prefer the Bad Romance video, although this is probably because of the outfits.
In other news: ew school.